The Never Never List

To say that I am known for having very strong opinions about movies is an understatement. Some of these opinions lead me to refuse to see a movie under any circumstance. I call it the Never, Never list. The most recent movie I have put on this list is Eat, Pray, Love. I haven't read the book but it really doesn't sound like it would hold my interest. In fact all signs point to it probably irritating me more than anything. This is a real shame since I am a big fan of Javier Bardem and I am also a fan of Billy Crudup. I was shocked to find out that the running time for this movie is over two hours. I guess you can't really put a timer on a mid life crisis.

However, thinking about this has made me remember some movies that I put on this list that I eventually saw. Some with positive results and some reaffirming why I shouldn't have seen the movie in the first place. I will admit that sometimes if a movie becomes too popular before I see it this becomes a good enough reason for me not to see it. People who know me and know about my list often are a little heartbroken at what I have selected to add to the list. I am well aware that this is unfair, but hey so is life.

I also go through 'anti' fazes on particular actors and movie genres. The actors have usually made a movie that I didn't care for and I stop watching their films for a bit. I feel it's like punishing a child by putting them in a time out corner. I'm not crazy I know this doesn't actually punish them but it feels better than rolling the dice with them again. Movie genres are similarly banned. I generally get pissed off at having to watch chick flicks. This rule isn't hard and fast and I have excluded any movie I watched when I was younger than 20. People make fun of me for leaving these movies out but there's just nothing I can do about how old I was when I watched Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman. Then once I started watching older movies rather than use my age I just declared that the year the movie was made was a better divider. I didn't see When Harry Met Sally until I was in my mid twenties but considering the year it was made it still fits my flawed logic. :)

The first movie I can remember seeing against my will as an adult was Titanic. I am almost certain that the popularity of this movie did it for me. I didn't know anything about Kate Winslet at the time and I did not hold a grudge against Leonardo D. But alas, I went on a date with a guy who thought he would shed my tough exterior by watching me see this movie in the hopes that I would cry particularly at the ending. Now had circumstances been different maybe I would have really enjoyed the film despite my aversion to seeing it. But under those circumstances, I was not amused. I remember saying to my date before he approached the ticket counter that I wanted to see Kiss the Girls. Granted, I really didn't want to see that either but it was lesser of two evils as I'd already seen everything else they had playing. Trying not to be too upset I sat through the movie and as it came towards the drowning scene I started to hear some chicks in the theater crying. I really couldn't help but laugh out loud. I just didn't see it as the type of movie that was worth crying over. Boy did those chicks in the theater give me some vicious looks. My date was disappointed and I lost 194 minutes of my life that I can't get back now.

Some of the brighter moments of breaking with the Never Never List include seeing Austin Powers: The Spy  Who Shagged Me, and Zoolander. I can only assume I was in an anti empty comedy  faze. But both those movies turned out to be pretty funny and enjoyable. I have since lifted this ban on comedies with moderate success.

One of the most irritating birthdays I ever had was the day I was forced to watch National Treasure. I'd seen the trailer and nothing about it appealed to me. The best character in the film, played by Justin Bartha, doesn't get a lot of face time in the trailer and I think that would have helped. However, I hated the movie and seeing a movie you knew would hate on your birthday just adds insult to injury. And no it was not just the presence of Nicholas Cage that turned me off of this movie. Although that didn't help either.

Let's face it you can't see every movie. A part of me thinks that you can define yourself by what you see and what you don't. I know that there is no better way to judge a movie than to actually watch it but I think it's also important to keep a sense of self. I don't enjoy being forced to watch anything but I am willing to listen to people who have seen a movie to persuade me to lift my ban.